Guiding Principles

1. We are an Institute of men dedicated to the apostolate of continual growth in personal holiness and the Spiritual growth and perfection of all men. It is expressed in the phrase: “Men helping Men be the Man that God called them to be”
2. Our primary focus for the men we serve is on their Spiritual Growth.
a. We rely on the help of the Holy Spirit to lead our efforts and we introduce men to the role of the Holy Spirit in their personal spiritual growth. (Wisdom 9:17)
b. Our counsel is always guided or reinforced by Scripture (Ben Sira 39:6-8).
c. We provide guidance, not solutions or answers. (Proverbs 11:14) We lead others to discover what God’s answer might be for them.
d. Guidance of a secular nature, when necessary, may be provided to remove obstacles or barriers to Spiritual Growth. (James 2:15-16)
e. Our secular guidance is based on our own knowledge or experience (Ben Sira 3:25)
4. We commit to daily prayer for every individual who is being mentored or directed (James 5:16)
5. We commit to sacrifice through periodic fasting or abstinence for the needs of those being mentored (Tobit 12:8)
6. We submit to a vow of confidentiality: not to disclose to others, outside the leadership of the community, who we are mentoring and anything they might disclose to us of a personal nature (Proverbs 11:13)
7. We will never charge a fee or accept a payment for our mentoring services or time (1 Peter 5:2)
8. Ministering will be done by men in pairs when possible, but individually when approached as individuals. (Matthew 18:19) (Mark 6:7)
Confidentiality Vow

Somehow and somewhere along the way, we lost our way. Too many of us accepted the opinion of society and a vocal group of women that a pregnancy was the sole concern of the woman involved. Too many of us abdicated our responsibilities as a protector, provider, and partner in the process. 


The courts may side on the rights of women when it comes to decisions about the pregnancy, but that doesn’t change our role or responsibilities. We are not just a donor; we are a co-creator of this new life. Whatever our motivation or desires were at the time of conception, a new life was the result. The fate of that life often begins with our response to the news, “I’m pregnant.”


We encourage all men to prepare for that moment, especially if you are in a sexual relationship with a woman or having sex with women. Be prepared whether you are married or unmarried at this time. Too often we act impulsively and live with the regrets of those actions for the rest of our lives. The following are a few tips that can help you if you find yourself in this situation:

  1. Calm yourself with a brief prayer before you respond - Even when a pregnancy is planned and desired, the reality can hit home with a shock. This is a big deal so don't be surprised if it unnerves you. Hopefully, you both wanted this and your response will be one of joyful gratitude. If the pregnancy was not something either of you planned or wanted, then step 2 is especially important.
  2. Accept responsibility - The sexual act is intended to produce children. There is no contraception method that is 100% foolproof. Therefore, do not fall into the temptation of blaming her or assuming it's her fault and not yours. Instead, take the lead. Show empathy and ask how she feels about it, what are her thoughts, fears, concerns. You will have your own fears but for now focus on her.
  3. Be a supportive partner - She may have the ultimate right to decide the fate of this pregnancy, but your initial response will go a long way in helping her make the right choice. Be brave and let her know you will work this out together. She may not want you involved at all, but you should still offer to do what is right. Remember that you both created this new life together.
  4. Don't try and figure this out on your own. When you start to reflect on the impact this pregnancy may have on your life, the potential consequences may overwhelm you.  We rarely make good decisions when we are under stress. So seek support for yourself. Turn to older men whose moral character you admire. Those who will lead you on the right path and whose confidence you can trust. Be open about your circumstances and fears and be willing to listen to good counsel. Review the pros and cons of the various options available.
  5. Don't give into despair - You may not see a clear path ahead but God does. He will lead you through this if you place your trust in Him. Don't think that an abortion will take care of everything for you. Too many men have fallen into this trap and can testify to the lifelong baggage of remorse and guilt they carry.
  6. You are not in this alone - There are many good organizations and people willing to help you and your partner through this entire process. We are happy to provide you with a list of resources and support groups available. We can help too with a confidential discussion of your situation and options. We are happy to pray for you as well. Just reach out to us through this email link: paulr@staffofchrist.com


Fact: TRUE LOVE - Is a Sacrifice of Ourselves for the Good of the Other.  It is Never a Sacrifice of the Other for their Good or Ours.


Be A Protector: Protect the Mother of Your Child and Protect Your Child

You are more than just a Donor, you are the Co-creator of your child

Life is About Love - Love is About Life


Cross†Fit Fatherhood

The Components of being a good father include the roles of Priest, Husband, Father, Provider


Too much focus on one role can lead to detriment in others. We apply a Cross-fitness philosophy to Fatherhood and to all male vocations.


  • Balance is not spending equal time on each role.
  • Balance is not a static state either. 
  • It’s about making sure appropriate time is spent on each role. 
  • It varies with vocation, marital status, age, financial status, etc.


Time spent is not sufficient for success though.


  • How well we spend that time is critical. 
  • We must be knowledgeable to be good at each role.
  • We strive to help men improve their knowledge.


Fatherhood Components

Components of Fatherhood and tradeoffs

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Time Spent

We need to balance the time we spend on each role to make sure no role is neglected.

Knowledge

Time spent is not enough. We need to increase our knowledge about each role.