Spiritual Direction

“Everyone, in fact, especially those who have heeded the divine call to follow Christ closely, needs to be accompanied personally by a guide reliable in doctrine and expert in the things of God.” - Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI

• "Mentoring" - will refer to advice or counsel from someone who is further along in their life experience and in their spiritual life. 
• This can be an ongoing type of relationship or a one-off. 
• It can work well for those looking for guidance with work and family issues.
• Can also act as an “accountability partner” for spiritual growth 
• There is a scriptural basis for seeking such advice: "Stand in the company of the elders. Who is wise? Attach yourself to such a one." (Sirach 6:34) 
• No special training required, just an openness to the Holy Spirit on the part of the Mentor.
• "Counseling" - This will refer to Catholic or Christian based Psychological Counseling that may include a spiritual element. 
• The main purpose is to address deep seated behavioral changes that are needed, often resulting from a traumatic event in a person's past. 
• May be necessary in cases of addictive behaviors also
• The spiritual element involves inaccurate images of self and God which stem from the event. 
• This type of counseling requires a degree in Psychology but sometimes is done in conjunction with a Spiritual Director.
• "Spiritual Direction" - refers to a specific focus on helping someone grow in their relationship with God. 
• It is about helping them to develop an accurate self-image and image of God the Father. 
• It is also to help them get better at discerning between the three voices we hear in our heads: Ours, satan's, and God's. 
• This type of direction should be done by a certified and trained Spiritual Director.
• Note: The Catholic Church has not established a universal standard for this training.

Spiritual Direction

Description & Benefits

What is Spiritual Direction?

• Help with encountering Jesus Christ and growing into deeper intimacy with Him.
• Help with learning ways to go deeper in your prayer life
• Help to become more attuned to God’s movements in your life
• Help with discerning a vocation or life change
• Help with growing in self-knowledge and knowledge of God

Are there different methods or approaches to Spiritual Direction?

• Yes, they can vary on the emphasis of the Director’s role in providing direction.

The goal of any authentic spiritual direction is to help someone hear and heed the voice of God in their life:

• What is God doing in my life?
• What is he giving me?
• What is he asking me?
• How am I responding?
• How can I respond better?…

These are the core questions that we come back to over and over in spiritual direction.*

We will reflect on how the Directee’s prayer life is going.

Contemplative / Evocative Approach

• The Director facilitates a dialogue between the Directee and God by means of contemplative questions
• The Director assists the Directee in detecting the movements of God in their lives and in improving their discernment of God’s voice, His Spirit
• As the Directee grows in their ability to discern spirits, they are better able to orient themselves towards God and His will
• Ultimately the direction comes directly from God to the Directee

John Henry Newman’s motto, Cor ad Cor Loquitur—“Heart Speaks to Heart,” refers to the relationship between the human heart and God. This communion of hearts is the essence of spiritual direction and beautifully expresses the mission of Franciscan University of Steubenville’s School of Spiritual Direction.

Expectations of Directee & Director

Directee

Pray to discern who God is calling to be your Director; begin praying now for your Director

Come with a sense of purpose or goal in mind and share that with the Director

• Is there something weighing on my heart?
• Do I feel a barrier or resistance to growing closer to God?
• What do I desire to gain from Spiritual Direction?
• What is my experience of God?
• What does God have to say to me?
• What do I have to say to God?

Be honest and be vulnerable with your Director

Respect that any advice that is given is unique to the Directee, is confidential,  and not intended to be shared or offered to others,  Everyone’s spiritual journey is different.

Inform the Director if a second opinion or other counsel is being sought, especially in the case of a disagreement. 

Director

Respect for the individual nature of each person’s spirituality and experience of God

• Be open to and rely on the movement of the Holy Spirit to point the way to grace
• Maintain strict confidentiality 
• Some aspects may need to be discussed with the Director’s Supervisor; but anonymity of the Directee will be maintained. 
• If outside consultation is desired, it will be done with prior permission of the Directee
• Note: Expressions of intent to commit suicide, homicide, or abuse of a minor or elder will be reported to the proper authority
• Communicate fee schedule if any at initial session-(We do not charge a fee)
• Pray for the Directee

the following description of the role of a spiritual director is taken from a presentation to an ecumenical gathering for lent in feb, 2026. 

Scripture references are from the New Revised Standard Version Catholic Edition.

The Wedding at Cana

2 On the third day there was a wedding in Cana of Galilee, and the mother of Jesus was there. ² Jesus and his disciples had also been invited to the wedding. ³ When the wine gave out, the mother of Jesus said to him, “They have no wine.” ⁴ And Jesus said to her, “Woman, what concern is that to you and to me? My hour has not yet come.” ⁵ His mother said to the servants, “Do whatever he tells you.” The Word of the Lord.

If anyone ever asks you for advice regarding a decision they need to make or a problem they are struggling with, there is no better counsel that you can provide than “Do whatever He tells you!” You could describe that phrase as the mantra of my role as a Spiritual Director. Each of us has a unique path that we walk with the Lord. As a director, I do not say to people just do what I do. That would be a mistake. Rather, just like the mother of Jesus in this scene, when people come to me for assistance, I have one goal and that is to point them back to Jesus for the answer.

It seems so simple, so straight forward to just “do whatever, He tells you.” But there are three challenges that I consistently encounter. First, we don’t take all our concerns, decisions, or burdens to Jesus. We don’t think to invite Him into everything we do. The first step that the mother of Jesus took in this Gospel reading was to go to Him with her concern. “They have no wine.” We should do the same. But we forget to or maybe we assume that our concerns are too big or too small or not something Jesus would be concerned with because they are not spiritual in nature. His mother did not worry about any of that, and neither should we. But I think the number one reason we don’t do it is because we are too busy.

Notice too, that she did not try to tell her Son how to fix the issue. She didn’t ask anything of Him or lay out a solution to the problem. She simply said, “they have no wine.” That’s a good model for us. We don’t need to go into all the details. He knows what is on our heart. If we will just share our concerns with Jesus, that is all that He needs to act.

A turning point in my understanding of God was when I realized that being in a relationship meant that He wanted to do everything with me, do it together. He wants us to share everything with Him and He ultimately wants to share everything with us. We often go to Him with a problem and say, “Take this (you fill in the blanks) away from me.” That’s not how a loving relationship works, that’s a transactional relationship, like we have with the doctor. Here’s my insurance card, take this pain away. Jesus wants a true loving relationship with us, instead. Consider this verse from Matthew Chapter 11:28-30, Jesus says, ²⁸ “Come to me, all you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. ²⁹ Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. ³⁰ For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

I did not grow up on a farm and so I did not understand how a yoke works. Therefore, I was confused by this verse for many years. I thought Jesus wanted me to help carry His load. Thanks, but no thanks.  I did not understand that a yoke spreads the burden between both oxen; so that neither one must carry more than the other. It forces the oxen to walk side by side. Jesus is offering to help us carry our heavy burdens if we will only come to Him and attach ourselves to Him. That’s the nature of a loving relationship, doing things together.

There is another benefit to being yoked tightly to Jesus. In John 14:6 we hear, “Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. Jesus says “I am the way,” so our journey must begin with Him, “I am the truth” that will keep us on His way. “I am the life” that His way will lead us to. In other words, He is the alpha and the omega. But most of the time our response is like Thomas’ when he says, “How can we know the way?” Well, if we yoke ourselves to Jesus and take every concern, share every burden with Him and learn from Him, we cannot help but be on the Way with Him. Brother Lawrence calls this Practicing the Presence of God. It is a beautiful and fruitful practice but it’s hard.

That brings us to the second challenge in doing “whatever He tells us.” We don’t listen carefully enough for His voice. Why? Because Jesus is not the only voice speaking to us, telling us what to do. We have our own voice that gets in the way, the voice of an enemy that strives continually to lead us astray and there is always the voice of the crowd. It’s a cacophony of voices that can drown out the One Voice we need to listen to. Jesus says in John 10:27, “²⁷ My sheep hear my voice. I know them, and they follow me.” As a Spiritual Director, I spend more time helping people with this issue than probably any other. How do we get better at listening to God’s voice; to know when He is speaking? By practicing the art of “active listening.”

There are 5 skills associated with “active listening.” 1. paying attention (not just the words but the non-verbal cues, and no interrupting), 2. reflecting/paraphrasing, 3. clarifying (asking open-ended questions), 4. summarizing, and 5. withholding judgment. These are all aimed at fully understanding the speaker's message and emotions to improve communication and build better relationships. I guarantee that if you practice “active listening” in any relationship, it will get better; whether it’s with your children, your spouse, or with God.

So, what does active listening look like in practice with God? It starts with prayer and Scripture.  The prayer is simple. It’s a request for help in choosing the right verse, guiding our reflection, aiding our understanding, and recognizing how we are to apply what we hear in our lives. Then we open the Bible and begin to read. When we do this, we pay careful attention not only to the words and their meanings, but the movement of our hearts and the feelings that arise as we read. This is not the same as a Bible Study. It is not an intellectual exercise focused on gaining knowledge.  In order to pay attention, it is best done in a place where we won’t be interrupted. Our mind must be quiet, and all distracting thoughts set aside. It helps sometimes to have a notepad and pen handy so that if we suddenly remember an urgent task, we can jot it down and set it aside. We read until a word or verse stirs our heart. (In my own practice of this, I will notice a word that I don’t remember being there before, or a question will arise about a verse or word that I have not had before, or a word that has been reoccurring that week will stand out.)

When that happens, we stop and practice the 2^nd skill; we reflect on it. We don’t rush this or move on to the next verse. Instead, we practice the 3^rd skill and ask open ended questions of God about it. Then we sit and practice letting Him answer. (Again, in my own experience of this, a different but related verse may come to mind, a thought or image may come to me, just a feeling of peace may come, and sometimes nothing seems to happen and that’s okay.)

Afterwards, we summarize what God is saying through His Word even if the summary is, “nothing happened.” This is best done in the form of a handwritten journal. (I have on occasion started to write in my journal that I got nothing out of this session… when God suddenly opens the flood gates and I fill a page with reflections.”)

Next, we ask God how to apply this in our lives. This is a crucial step because it’s not just about listening but “Do whatever He tells you.” Finally, we withhold judgement on what we have written but practice discernment instead. We compare it with what Jesus has already taught us. It should be consistent with everything we know about His teaching and His commandments because Jesus is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. He will not use this time to teach us some new doctrine.

A daily habit of actively listening to the voice of God, will greatly improve the ability to hear His voice in all situations. This is a holy hour and a great way to have a beautiful dynamic conversation with God. It’s a time and place to bring to Him our concerns and share our burdens and get the answers we seek. And the conversation does not have to end with the hour but it can continue throughout the rest of the day.

I would also add that it helps us focus our listening to Scripture when we come to Jesus with a question or ask for His help in making a decision. When that is the case, I always advise my Directees to take as much time as the Lord gives them to listen to Him before deciding. But we must approach it with the right attitude. We have all heard the saying, “seeing is believing!” Well, it’s false, it’s a lie. The truth is that “Believing is seeing!” The Pharisees saw and did not believe. We must have faith to see things clearly. We must have faith that God will speak to us to hear His voice. Faith causes the "scales to fall from our eyes" and we see everything in the world with greater clarity. You must believe to see.

The third challenge in doing “whatever He tells you.” is best described by St Paul in his letter to the Romans 7:18-19: “I can will what is right, but I cannot do it. ¹⁹ For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I do.”  So, because of our human weakness, we do not do whatever He tells us. We separate ourselves from the yoke. We get lost. It is in our nature to forget, to fail, and to fall. There is a Latin phrase, I recommend for these situations: which Philip Rivers, the quarterback pronounces as Nunc Cheppi [Nunc Coepi].” It simply means, "Now I Begin." Seek forgiveness, seek God’s mercy, then begin again.

So, what happens when we manage to “Do whatever He tells you?” What does that look like? Well, let’s return to where we left off in our opening Gospel starting at verse 6:

 ⁶ Now standing there were six stone water jars for the Jewish rites of purification, each holding twenty or thirty gallons. ⁷ Jesus said to them, “Fill the jars with water.” And they filled them up to the brim. ⁸ He said to them, “Now draw some out, and take it to the chief steward.” So they took it. ⁹ When the steward tasted the water that had become wine, and did not know where it came from (though the servants who had drawn the water knew), the steward called the bridegroom ¹⁰ and said to him, “Everyone serves the good wine first, and then the inferior wine after the guests have become drunk. But you have kept the good wine until now.” ¹¹ Jesus did this, the first of his signs, in Cana of Galilee, and revealed his glory; and his disciples believed in him. The Word of the Lord

I love the fact that John adds the detail, “filled them up to the brim.” These were good servants. No partial measures for them. They did exactly what Jesus said to do. They conformed themselves to His will. And what was the result? He transformed that water into a superabundant supply of the most extraordinary wine. In that action, the Glory of Jesus is revealed and people started believing in Him. We should expect nothing less than this will happen if we too start doing whatever He tells us.

Let me close by offering this prayer for all of us. Jesus, may we yoke ourselves closely to you, so you can help us with our burdens. May we always listen attentively to everything you tell us to do and promptly carry it out. May our lives be filled with your Holy Spirit so that your Joy may be in us and our joy may be complete.  Amen.